St Helens
by scarlett2112
Summary: With their divorce nearing completion, Elena has accepted a new job offer in Washington DC. As scientists, they find common ground with when the mountain starts to rumble for the first time in over a century. Facing almost certain death, will Damon and Elena finally face the truths that drove them apart?
1. Chapter 1

Closing his eyes, Damon lays his head back as he rides in the back of the taxi to his home. Dirty, tired and exhausted, he just got back into the country after spending the last few weeks with his team in Guatemala, taking core samples rock and ash as well as reading the newest data available to them. As volcanologist working for the United States Geological Survey, he has to visit volcanoes on a regular basis. He's been fortunate to have observed a few eruptions. One of the major focuses of Damon and his team is to try to create a method of predicting volcanic eruptions, but there is currently no way to do this.

Although traveling to volcanoes and studying them close up may sound exciting, most the work of his work as a volcanologist is not as adventurous. Volcanology and the related science of geology are very much investigative types of work. Much of the time, they study dormant or dead volcanoes and monitor current volcanoes to see if they may be reawakening. Their studies help them learn more about why volcanoes erupt, how they have impacted the history of earth, and how they affect people and the environment.

When the cab pulls in front of his house, Damon drags himself and his duffel bag out of the car. After paying the driver, he reaches into his pocket to pull out his key. Before he can even pull it out, the door swings open surprising him.

"Elena?"

"I was hoping to be out of here before you got back," she says, her arms holding a big box. Taking it from her, he sets it on the foyer table before closing the distance between them.

"Don't do that, Elena. I never said that I didn't want to see you again."

"You didn't have to, Damon. You were practically foaming at the mouth when you yelled at me to leave."

"You had me served with divorce papers just as I was walking out the door to catch a plane. How did you think I'd react?"

"I don't have any energy left to fight with you. I'm taking Jake with me when I leave."

"What? You can't separate them. Our dogs were puppies together, Elena."

"I'll take both of them then. You're gone more than you're home anyway."

"That's not fair and you know it," he snaps, fatigue and frustration combining to form a lethal mix. Throwing his duffel bag to the floor, he just stares at her almost as if he doesn't know who she is anymore. "I'm too tired to get into this with you now. I've been up for nearly forty eight hours so rather than one of adding another thing to our long list of regrets, I'm going to bed." Shaking his head, he trots up the stairs. Although nothing he does surprises her anymore, she picks up her box and leaves the house they once shared, pulling the door shut behind her.

* * *

Waking up the next afternoon, Damon stretches his arms and legs. Although he still feels tired, he throws his legs over the side of the bed and sits up. Staring at the picture on his bedside stand, Damon wishes with everything in him that he could turn back the clock. As hard and as utterly painful as their reality is, he's had to learn to live with it. As much as he loves her and wants to fix things with her, it's just too late. Too many things have been said that can't be unsaid. Things began to spiral and deteriorate not long after _it_ happened. She blamed him, hell, he blamed himself but there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it either. After scrubbing his palm across his face, he stumbles into the bathroom, kicks off his boxers and steps into the shower.

Once he's dressed and ready, he jumps into his car to go to work, detouring only to get a cup of coffee. Pulling into the parking lot of the David a Johnston Cascades Volcano Observatory, Damon is just turning off the ignition when he hears a rap on his car window. Turning his head, he smiles when he sees who it is. Jumping out of the car, he gives Bonnie a hug, having not seen her for several weeks.

"You look a little worse for wear," she asks, palming the stubble on his cheek.

"I got home just in time to run into Elena. Needless to say, it didn't end well."

"I wish you two would get your shit together. Damon, I know you don't want a divorce. Why don't you talk to her?"

"Because she's leaving, Bon. She has this great opportunity and I don't want to take that from her."

"You big ass. You're both going to regret this, you do know that?"

"Yes, I do but too many things have happened and I don't want to hurt her anymore, Bonnie," he adds, looking beyond his friend at the mountains on the horizon.

"Damon!?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Damon utters, running a hand through his hair. Turning away for a moment, he reaches into the car to grab his messenger bag. Throwing it over his shoulder, he motions for her to lead the way. Following her into the building, he heads down one corridor to his office while she heads down another. Passing the center director's office, he raps on the door frame, not moving till Ric acknowledges him.

"Damon, come in. I didn't think you'd be in till tomorrow. Elena mentioned that she was at the house when you got home."

"Yeah, I have a lot of data I need to go over. How many days does she have left, Rick?"

"She's done here at the end of the week. I haven't asked her if she's leaving immediately to go to DC."

Dropping his eyes for a moment, Damon points down the hall, excusing himself to go to work. After taking off his jacket and getting caught up on a few things, he grabs his core and ash samples and heads down the hall to the lab. When he steps inside, he finds his wife and his friend huddled in conversation. Clearing his throat, Damon drops his data and samples on the countertop. "How was Guatemala?" Brady asks, sidestepping Elena to look at the ash samples. Picking up one of the vials, he grabs a few ashes on the slides then puts them under the microscope for examination. "Have a look, Damon," he says, stepping aside. Pulling his glasses from his face, Damon nods and does just that. Under a microscope, ash from different eruptions can have very different appearances. Sometimes it looks sharp and glassy and that's because it _is_ glass. When magma cools very quickly, it turns into a kind of glass, which can become part of an ash cloud. Whatever it's made of, a particle from a volcano has to be less than two millimeters across for it to be considered ash. Lots of volcanic ash is much smaller than that. Ash is often like very fine sand or dust. When particles of ash are small enough, they can hang in the air for several weeks, and travel on the wind for hundreds or thousands of miles. The smaller the particles are, the further they can go. Even far away from the volcano it came from, the presence of ash in the atmosphere can lead to spectacular sunsets, as low sunlight is filtered through the tiny particles. And although it usually only hangs in the atmosphere for a few weeks, volcanic ash's ability to block and scatter sunlight can even cause slight changes in global climate. The tremendous amounts of gases released from volcanoes have a much greater affect on the climate than ash, however.

"Can I see?" Elena asks, staring at Damon when he looks up. Stepping back, he motions with his hand for her to see for herself. When she looks up, Damon's back is turned to her as he digs through his bag.

"Look what else I found," Damon smiles, holding up a baseball sized gray chunk.

"Is that what I think it is?" Elena asks, taking it from his hand.

"Yep, it is."

"This is a nice specimen," she mentions, eyeing it appreciatively. Holding it up when Bonnie walks into the lab, she runs her fingers over the smooth surface.

After handing Damon a stack of mail, Bonnie gives her husband, Brady a quick kiss then asks, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes... Bonnie it's a volcanic bomb."

"I've never seen on before," Bonnie adds, taking it when Elena hands it to her.

"It's a mass of molten rock larger than two and half inches in diameter. They're formed when a volcano ejects viscous fragments of lava during an eruption. They cool into solid fragments before they reach the ground. Because volcanic bombs cool after they leave the volcano, they do not have grains making them extrusive igneous rocks. Most extrusive of volcanic rocks have small crystals in them. Basalt and obsidian are examples. Obsidian is found in volcanic areas where the magma is rich in silica and lava has cooled without forming crystals, creating a black glass that can be honed to an exceptionally thin edge."

"I'll let you and Brady get back to work," Elena says. After sharing a look with Damon, she walks out of the lab leaving Damon to wonder how he's going to cope when she's really gone.

* * *

Sitting at his desk looking at some of the data, Damon happens to glance at the seismograph in his lab. His eyes widen as he studies the graphs, noticing a series of small earthquakes at Mt. St. Helens. The volcano seems to have roared to life again. Hundreds of small earthquakes have been recorded in the last week and a half. Taking his binoculars, he walks over to his big picture window focusing his gaze on the mountain. He sees a plume of steam erupting. Although he's going to take a team over there tomorrow, he sees what he estimates to be about a two hundred foot wide crater covered with dark ash. It's a stark contrast to the snowclad southeast sector of the volcano's summit ice cap. Taking a deep breath, he puts the binoculars down just as Elena walks into his office.

"I was just coming to get you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, look at the mountain," he says, handing her the binoculars. "I'm going to go over there tomorrow to take some core samples and temperature readings. Do you want to come with me?"

"Damon, I'm leaving at the end of the week."

"Come on, Elena. An active volcano in the continental US. How can you pass that up?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow at her.

"Fine, I'll call DC to see if I can stick around for a little while."

"You won't regret it," Damon tells her, watching as the small eruption continues to blow ash into the sky.

* * *

 _I guess my time out didn't last very long! Eva and I have a couple of other new projects we're immersed in too. Plus the 2016 holiday story is ready to go too once we get closer to the season. I have put up some teaser pictorials for this story, the holiday story, and a couple of other ones that that are coming on my scarlett2112 facebook page if you're interested. There are also pictorials of some of my completed stories. I'm very proud of the fact that every one of my stories is marked 'complete'._

 _Huge thanks to Eva. She really is so vital. I know that I wouldn't be here without her brilliant mind. It's always swirling with ideas to get me over the humps._

 _Please click that review button and follow along._

 _Thank you all so much. I probably wouldn't have been back this quickly, if at all, without your kind words of support._


	2. Chapter 2

Walking through the facility, Damon goes to look for Bonnie. Having grown up together, she's his closest friend. As hard as it's been, she's really tried to stay neutral in the battle between the Salvatore's. Having checked all of their St. Helen's data again, Damon is almost certain that an eruption is imminent. The bulge on the volcano continues to grow day by day. Bonnie field of expertise is Geochemistry. Her job is to study volcanic products such as rocks, gas, lava with specialties ranging from volcanic gases to larger scale whole-earth processes. Brady is a Geophysicist. His job is seismology which is the study of earthquakes, gravity, magnetics and other geophysical measurements. In addition to Volcanology, Damon also specializes in Geodesy which is a specialization that deals specifically with the changes in the shape of the other related to volcanic activity or ground deformation. Slater's contribution to the team is his specialization in the remote sensing of volcanic hazards using satellites and or remote cameras. He is an expert in mathematical modeling of volcanic processes, geographic information systems or GIS mapping, electronics development, computer programing, and hazards education.

Damon, Brady and Slater need to leave for the airfield. Having charted a helicopter to have a look at the mountain from the air, he wants to get a move on. Finding Brady having a moment with Bonnie, he shakes his head. Brady rolls his eyes, gives his wife a kiss then darts around Damon to go bring the car around.

"You two are hopeless romantics," he laughs.

"You're one to talk, you and Elena were always touching each other, sucking face and the like," she scoffs teasingly. Seeing the melancholy look wash over Damon's face she changes the subject. "Was there something you wanted?"

Yes. I wanted to know if you wanted to come along with us?"

"Why don't you let Elena have first divs?"

"Are you sure? If we find what I think we'll find, we're going to have to talk to the Governor about evacuating some of the areas around the mountain."

"You really think she's going to blow?"

"I really do."

"Be careful okay?" Bonnie cautions, giving him a quick hug.

"You know me, I'm a very cautious fellow," Damon laughs then walks away to quickly see if Elena wants to go up in the helicopter too. Not finding her, he hurries outside, jumping into the car as soon as Brady and Slater pull up. Just as Brady is about to pull onto the highway, Damon happens to see Elena in his side view mirror. His gut twists uncomfortably when he sees her laughing with her _friend_ , Kol Mikaelson. He's a chemist at the Washington State University. They met when Elena taught a course on Volcanology at the school a year or so ago, not long after they separated. Elena has always denied that there's anything romantic between herself and Kol, Damon can't help but wonder if that's still the case. Even though he feels a twinge of jealousy and his heart thrums uncomfortably, he does know that Elena has never lied to him. But then again, he hasn't brought up Kol's name to her in a long time so perhaps things have changed between them?

"What is he doing here?" Slater asks, rolling his eyes.

"They're friends or so she tells me," Damon adds, not wanting to think about it. Rolling down the window, he takes a deep breath of the fresh mountain air. He loves living in the Pacific northwest so much. "Our exit is coming up."

"I see it, Damon," Brady says, veering into the right lane so he can get off the highway when they reach the airfield exit.

"Once we get a good luck at the summit, I want to talk to Ric about setting up a couple of basecamps so we can monitor the volcano twenty four-seven."

"Good idea. We can move a trailer up there and take turns watching her."

"So what's up with Bonnie? It's not like her to turn down an opportunity like this."

"She's been a little under the weather the last few days. You know Bonnie, she would rather eat snails than let someone see her get sick," Brady laughs, sharing a quick look with Damon.

"Indeed, she would," he adds, shaking his head. Moments later, Brady pulls into the airfield. After parking the car, they head to the hangar where their buddy Matt is waiting for them. Once they're inside, they put on their headsets and wait for Matt to get clearance to take off. Moments later, air traffic control clears them for take off. Taking off, he flies them towards Mt. St. Helens.

* * *

"Look at that," Damon rasps, in awe of what's right below him. "Look at the size of that bulge." Looking down at the bulge that has developed on the north side of Mount St. Helens, Damon is simply awed. "Magma is being pushed up within the peak of the mountain. I mean, just look at the size of that thing," he repeats, unable to take his eyes off of it. "I don't know when nor the scope of it but she's definitely going to erupt."

"I would have to agree," Brady says, his eyes also focused on the area that Damon is pointing at. "And you're right too in that we need to talk to Ric about setting up a meeting with Governor Ray."

"Do you want to drop us down for a little bit, Matt?" Damon asks. Lowering the chopper, the three men jump out. They go to work setting up reflective targets between the fissures. This way they can use laser technology to record changes. Once they finish, they get back into the helicopter to fly back to the airfield. Thanking Matt, they say goodbye and head back to the their office.

In the weeks that follow, the Governor orders the area around the mountain to be evacuated but the people who live in the area are starting to get restless and want to go home. Even though he knows that Ric is getting heat from the state government, Damon would much rather be wrong about the volcano than feel responsible for the mass casualties that are sure to follow if people stayed in their homes. Spirit Lake is a beautiful and profitable state recreation area. Damon can remember spending time with Elena at Spirit Lake Lodge. It's cantankerous owner has made the national news for refusing to leave. Damon only hopes he lives to tell about it.

* * *

"Come on, Jasper, Jake, let's go," Damon says, jogging beside the dogs as they head back to his place. He gets to his house just as Elena pulls into the driveway. Picking up the pace, he rounds the last corner and reaches his yard by the time she steps out of her car. Fatigued, he bends over, hands on his thighs to catch his breath.

"Hi," he pants.

"Hi, Damon. I talked to Bonnie. She said that you were planning to go to Coldwater One tomorrow to monitor the mountain. I thought you wanted me to go with you? I mean, I'm putting off going to DC for several weeks so I could be part of this. And why have you been avoiding me lately?"

Feeling his heart beating like a locomotive against his chest, he looks away for a moment. "I do want you to go with me but every time I've seen you lately, you've been with _him_." Before she has a chance to answer, he straightens up and heads for his front door.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" she yells, following him into the house. After slamming the door, she marches right after him, finally pinning him down in the kitchen. "There's nothing going on between me and Kol. He's a friend."

"And that's all?"

"Yes, Damon. And even if he wasn't, why the hell would you care anyway? I tried, God, I tried but you wouldn't budge. For the sake of my own sanity, I had to leave, Damon. If you would've even met me half way, perhaps we could've saved our marriage. But you wouldn't let me in.. What was I supposed to do, wait around for a scrap here and a scrap there?"

"I was dealing with it the only way I knew how. You were already suggesting...," he adds, pausing for a moment before continuing, "and I couldn't, I just couldn't. But that doesn't mean that I ever stopped loving you. You're still always right here," he snaps, picking up her hand and her palm flush against his now pounding heart. "And believe me, I know that I blew it. If I had known of a more productive way to channel what I was feeling, I would have."

"You're right, it is too late. Those feelings are gone, Damon," she says, her even voice not betraying her lie.

"So that's it then... as soon as we know more about the mountain, you're heading to DC?"

"I am and I'll be taking Jake and Jasper with me." Feeling his gut being pulled out through his throat, he drops his chin to his chest while composing himself. Not wanting her to know how much he's hurting, he turns away from her then reaches into the fridge to pull out a bottle of beer. "Do you want one?"

"No, I'm going to go. I'll be here in the morning to drive to the Toutle River with you." After staring at each other for several seconds, Elena feels her own heart twist painfully so she drops her eyes, takes a deep breath and walks out of the kitchen and out of the house that she used to share with him. Jumping in her car, she careens out of the driveway. Gunning the engine, she presses on the gas and darts out of the neighborhood. By the time she has to brake at the stoplight, tears are cascading down her cheeks. She knows no man will ever compare to Damon. Her love for him is infinite and no matter where she goes or what she does, he's always going to be with her. And sometimes she wishes it wasn't so, that she could let him go. But how many times does a person love like this in a lifetime? Sometimes she has to ask herself why it had to happen to them? But after much therapy, she finally realized that there was no answer to that. Needing something to drink, she pulls into the parking lot at the small pub that's near Kol's place. If Damon knew she was staying with him, he'd be apoplectic. But what he doesn't know is that Kol's sister Rebekah lives with them too. As soon as she reaches the bar, she takes a seat and plops her purse onto the bar top.

"What can I get for you?"

"Bourbon, straight up," she says, having acquired a taste for it from Damon. When he slides it to her, she picks it up and throws it back, barely flinching from the burn as it goes down. Dropping her forehead onto the back of her hand, she takes a breath. When she feels a hand on her shoulder, she sits upright, relaxing when she sees Brady take the seat beside her.

"I saw your car outside. Thought maybe you could use someone to talk to?"

"Thanks, Brady. He can be so exasperating sometimes," she adds, signaling the bartender for a refill.

"I know that. Bonnie has told me stories from when they grew up... But he cares about people and he's brilliant at what he does as are you I might add.."

"Brady, where is Bonnie anyway?"

"When we saw your car, she dropped me off. She had a migraine so she went home to take a nap," he says, asking the bartender for a soda. When Elena raises her eyebrow, he adds, "Someone needs to drive us home." Shaking her head, she takes a swallow from her drink. Wrapping her fingers around it, she stares at the amber colored liquid.

"Can I ask you something, Elena?" Without saying anything, she nods and turns her head to face him. As if to say go on, she tilts her head slightly.

"Do you really want to go to Washington DC? I mean, what's there?"

"Brady, it's a great opportunity for me to start over. If things were better between Damon and me, I'd chuck it in a heartbeat. But there's too much separating us right now."

"When will the divorce be finalized if you don't mind me asking?"

"I only filed a couple of months ago so I think in about four months."

"Is it really what you want?"

"It's not what I want, it's what I have to do. The subject is now closed," she adds, throwing back what's left in her glass.

* * *

Glancing at his watch, Damon pulls into the parking lot at the USGS. Walking into his office, he picks up the satellite phone and calls Trevor who is monitoring the mountain at Cold Water two which is five miles northeast of the summit. Public interest has died down since there hasn't been any eruptions in the last month but Damon is concerned the bulge which has been growing at a rate of almost feet per day. Part of the volcano's north side has been pushed up and outward by more than four hundred and fifty feet. While talking to Trevor, Damon spins in his chair when he hears his door creek open. Raising a finger to silence her, he finishes up with his phone call before hanging up and turning his attention to Elena.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yep, who's all coming with us?"

"Brady and Slater. I guess Bonnie isn't feeling up to it."

"I hope she's okay. She hasn't been up to par for sometime now."

"I do too, Lena, I do too," he adds. It's second nature to call her by her pet name. Elena knows that he probably didn't even realize what he said.

"Yeah, who's watching the dogs?"

"I dropped them off at Mrs. Flower's kennel."

"I see," she says, walking out of his office, followed immediately after by Damon. They reach the van just as Slater and Brady finish stowing all of their gear. Damon slides in behind the wheel with Elena beside him while Slater and Brady pile in the back. They stop to fill the gas tank and then they begin the hour long drive to Mount St Helens. They take the time to stop at both Coldwater one and Coldwater two, to have a few words with Trevor and Tyler. Once they leave, they head down to the Toutle River to set up their campsite.

* * *

"There's only two tents?"

"Yes, Elena, two tents," Damon confirms as he continues to snap the pieces of the frame together.

"Fine then, I'll take one and you three can share the other."

Taking a breath, Damon turns around to face her. "Elena, they're two man tents. You're either going to have to bunk with me or one of them," he adds, pointing to where Brady and Slater are busy building the other tent.

"We slept together for five years. You have my word as a gentleman that I won't lay a finger on you," he adds sarcastically.

"You can be such an asshole sometimes," she snaps. Staring at him for a moment, she walks off to put some distance between the two of them. Reaching the water, she picks up a smooth stone and skips it across the water. When she sees a big rock, she walks over to it and sits down. As she stares at the mountain, she watches another small plume of smoke and ash burst into the air above. She can't seem to shake the hint of fear she's feeling inside. There's no doubt in her mind that Damon is correct in that it's going to erupt, she just hopes that they're far enough away when it finally does blow her stack. Picking a long piece of grass, Elena starts to chew on it as her eyes focus on the scenery. It's absolutely beautiful here. The water is a gorgeous blue hue and the surrounding mountains and green valleys combine to make a gorgeous landscape.

 _"So you grew up around here?"_

 _"I did," he confirms the sweat on his muscular arms glimmering in the sun as he rows the boat._

 _"It's really gorgeous here, Damon. I grew up in the Black Hills. They're beautiful too but not as majestic as the Cascades."_

 _"No volcanoes either am I right?" he teases._

 _"No, but Harney Peak is the highest point east of the Rockies." When she looks up, his million watt smile is etched firmly on his face. Letting go of the oars, Damon inches closer to her while her eyes are pealed on the scenic panorama surrounding them. Feeling the hairs on her body begin to prickle, Elena turns her head. Before she can say a word, he captures her lips in a bone-melting kiss, their lips mold and slide against each other. When she feels the tip of his tongue teasing the seam of her mouth, she opens up to let him in._

"Elena?"

Shaken out of her reverie when she hears her name, she looks up, smiling when she sees that it's Slater. "Hi Slater. I was just taking in the place. It won't be in my back door for much longer."

"You're absolutely certain this is the right move for you?"

"Slater, I can't stay here."

"Sure you can. He's still crazy about you, surely you know that?"

"I'll agree that he's still crazy. I really don't want to talk about it, Slater."

"Okay, I'll shut up. Tents are up."

Nodding she gets up and follows Slater back to their campsite. Now that the tents are erected, they each go off in a different direction to take samples from the water, the soil and photograph the area. They find some ash from the previous minor eruptions, Damon collects samples of it as well. Despite the unease between himself and Elena, Damon doesn't want to fight with her. These next couple of days may very well be the last time he gets to spend any time with her. And as hard as it will be to let her go, he knows he must. But he doesn't want to ruin the little time they have left by arguing either. Finding some wildflowers blooming near the water, he stoops down to take a picture and then picks a couple for her. As he makes his way back to camp, he runs into her, staring at the mountain through her binoculars.

"Hi," he says, handing her the flowers.

"Thank you," she smiles, bringing the Pink Star Onion flower to her nose. "Look at the mountain," she says, pointing to another small burst of steam and ash erupting from the mountain.

"It's coming, Elena. I know it is. There have been more than ten thousand earthquakes since this all started. The north flank has grown by more than four hundred and fifty feet, forming that nearly horizontal bulge," he adds, taking the binocular from her to zero in on it.

"That means that the magma has risen high into the volcano. I just wish we had a way to accurately predict when she is going let her rip as it were."

"Me too. Are you ready to go back to camp? We need to collect some dead branches to build a campfire."

"Yeah, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Nodding, Damon forces a smile and then walks away, knowing that she's going to take his heart with her when she goes. When the sun starts to set, they build a campfire and cook some hotdogs. Passing the bag of chips around, they each take a handful. "It's nice to have you out here with us again, Elena," Damon mentions, raising his eyes to hers as he takes a bite of his hotdog.

"Yeah, it is nice to be out with you guys again. It'll be the last time though, I'm moving to DC next week."

"I thought it was open ended because of that," Damon asks, pointing in the direction of the mountain.

"No, they want me there as soon as possible. I was lucky to get to stay extra as is."

"I see." Picking up his beer bottle, Damon takes a deep pull then drops his eyes to his plate.

"So, Elena, what's it like, you know living with Mikaelson?"

Damon practically gives himself whiplash when his head snaps up. "What did you just say, Slater?"

"Damon, I was supposed to be out of here by now. My lease ran out on my apartment. Kol offered me a place to stay so I accepted."

"Unbelievable," he adds. "You know you could've stayed at the house."

"Why do you even care? We've been separated for a long time, Damon. And besides it's none of your business," she snaps, taking a chug from her own beer bottle. Looking up, she happens to notice Brady and Slater rolling their eyes. "Um, remember that time when we all went camping out here and Damon fell into the lake?" Brady says, hoping to change the subject.

"That was a real hoot, Brady," Damon snaps, getting up, he picks up a flashlight and disappears into the darkness. By the time he comes back, the fire is dying down. After throwing a few more logs on the fire, he crawls into the tent. Finding Elena sound asleep already, he takes off his shoes and then crawls into his sleeping bag. Staring at her, his eyes get heavy. Whether real or imagined, the last thing he hears is her sweet voice telling him goodnight.

When he wakes up the next morning, Damon stretches, smiling when he sees that Elena is still sound asleep. Quietly he slips on his boots then leaves the tent to make some coffee. It's nearly eight thirty when he raises his cup to his mouth, savoring the rich taste of his coffee as it goes down. Hearing twigs cracking, Damon looks at Brady and Slater as they walk over to pour themselves a cup. "Morning," Damon says.

"Morning," they start to say when the ground below them starts to rumble. ' _Vancouver, Vancouver, this is it_ ," blares loudly from the satellite phone and then nothing. At the same time as the earthquake, the volcano's northern bulge and summit begin to slide away. Almost as if he's watching in slow motion, Damon blinks a few times, not quite sure if he's seeing what he thinks he's seeing. And in the next millisecond, his life flashes in front of his eyes when he realizes that his biggest fear is happening right now in this very second. Superheated smoke and ash and debris threaten to obliterate everything in its path, the roar filling the air is deafening. Unable to move, his eyes widen in fear. When he doesn't see Elena, his heart starts to slam against his sternum causing his breath catch painfully. Knowing that they have literally minutes to escape, Damon darts inside the tent, grabs a just awakening Elena by the hand and pulls her out. With her hand firmly in his, he yells, "RUN!"

* * *

 _I don't know how to thank you for the incredible welcome to this story. I can't thank you enough. I may tease the first chapter of 'I Can't Escape Myself' one of these days but I won't be posting it regularly till this one is complete._

 _A huge, huge, thanks for my dear sister, Eva. I don't even begin to know how I'd ever get over the rough spots without her. She's always encouraging me, letting me vent and she's just the best person. I love you, Eva._

 _My friend, insightfuldamon, has two good stories, 'Finding Equilibrium' and 'Arms of the Ocean'. I'm hooked on both of them._

 _Please remember to click the review button. They really mean the world to me. Thank you so very much._

 _Have a safe and wonderful weekend._


	3. Chapter 3

With Elena's hand firmly clasped in his, he practically throws her into their car. Diving into the back seat, Brady and Slater quickly buckle up. Gunning the engine, Damon starts to careen down the gravel road, hoping to reach the main highway. But with the roar of the trees snapping like twigs and the landslide completely obliterating everything in it's path, Damon knows he can't outrun it. Having never been one to wave the white flag either, he floors the gas pedal. Driving as fast as he can, he maneuvers the car along the winding road. Once they pull onto a highway, his eyes widen to the size of saucers when he sees smoke and ash begin to billow out of the volcano through the rearview mirror. Although he's scared shitless, truth be told, he's glad it's a Sunday because if it was a weekday, many more people would've been out here. Forest service people, logging company employees and the like would all be in harm's way. With the ash beginning to turn daylight into night, they soon find that visibility isn't much more than a couple of car lengths ahead of them. Knowing they'll surely die if they don't get out of here, Damon keeps driving. Unable to see for any distance, his heart starts slamming against his rib cage. With panic beginning to fuel every cell in his body, he breathes just a little easier when he feels her palm give his thigh a squeeze. Knowing that he'll do everything in his power to keep her alive, even sacrifice himself if need be, he pushes on.

"Go, go, go, go, Damon," Brady screams, staring at the darkness surrounding them.

"I can barely see anything," Damon snaps, his voice tense, his heart hammering in his throat.

With a shaky, small voice, Elena peers at him through moist eyes, saying, "I don't want to die, Damon,"

"You aren't dying today, Elena," he yells. When the ash begins to filter in through the exhaust, Damon knows he has to move or they'll suffocate on it. He's grateful that they were camped about twenty miles away from the mountain along the Toutle River. Right now, he wishes with everything in him that he hadn't brought her along. Out of nowhere, a huge tree crashes down on them, stopping the car in its tracks. Dazed, Damon shakes himself out of his stupor when he sees an unconscious and bleeding Elena. Feeling her carotid artery, he breathes just a little easier when he feels her heart thrumming against his fingertips. Turning around, his eyes meet Brady's. Looking towards the rear passenger seat, Damon has to turn away when he sees what's left of Slater.

"There's nothing we can do for him. We have to get Elena out of here, Brady." Nodding he kicks against his door as hard as he can, finally knocking it open. Climbing out, Brady runs around to Elena's side, to help Damon pull her out. Jumping out of the car himself, Damon slides over the hood, pulling her through the window as the door is jammed shut. Lifting her into his arms, he looks all around, trying to find a path out of here. Although he knows their chances for survival have dropped significantly, Damon isn't about to say anything to Elena or Brady. Whether or not he dies is insignificant to him. The only thing that matters to him right now is getting Elena safely out of here.

* * *

The volcano's superheated smoke and ash create an instant flood, making it even more deadly by the addition of thousands of destroyed trees. Three foot tree trunks are snapping like a match sticks as the ashen brew sweeps down the Toutle Valley and right towards them. Blood is trickling into her eye and down her cheek from a wound on her forehead. Clutching her to him, he and Brady climb onto the car's roof. Damon is grateful that Brady managed to grab onto his backpack.

Before they can blink, logs and water collide with the vehicle so they run for their very lives. Unable to outrun it, the rising water pulls Elena under. Because hell will freeze over before he lets her drown, Damon dives in himself, finally finding her on his second dive. He pulls her out by her now bloody arm, trying to hold her above the water as the logs start to squeeze the life out of him. By some quirk of fate and against all odds, Brady manages to somehow pull the two of them out of the water and out of immediate danger. With the smoke and ash so thick, the going is slow for the three friends as they try to find some sort of shelter. After what seems like hours, they finally they find an abandoned cabin and although it doesn't afford much shelter it's something.

Grimacing in pain, Damon holds Elena in his arms. Knowing that the logs likely bruised his ribs badly, Damon tries not to let his pain show. Brushing her hair off of her face, he's relieved to see that at least the cut along her hairline is more superficial than deep.

"How are we going to get out of here, Damon?" Brady asks, looking out through the hole in the wood. The dilapidated cabin is just barely out of reach of the volcanic lahar which is a fancy name for a mud or debris flow. Lahars have the consistency, viscosity and approximate density of wet concrete.

"Bonnie is pregnant. I can't die, Damon," he admits, turning away from him when his eyes start to water.

"We are not dying, Brady. Do you hear me?"

"How can you be so sure? My God, Damon, Slater is gone."

"I know, Brady. Believe me, I do," he starts to say, dropping his eyes to Elena when he feels her start to stir. When she opens her eyes, they dart back and forth. Damon can see the fear in them immediately. "What happened? Where are we?" she asks, trying to sit up but Damon holds her still. St Helens erupted, Elena. We're trapped here for now."

Although her heart is beating like a kettle drum inside of her chest and her throat is tightening, she somehow manages to keep her voice steady. As she takes in their surroundings, Damon pinpoints the exact moment that she puts two and two together. "Slater, where is he?"

"He didn't make it, Elena." Her eyes dart from Damon's to Brady's who nods sadly. After several seconds of eerie silence pass, she proclaims without even a hint of emotion, "We're all going to die aren't we?" Her lack of an emotional response scares Damon more than the predicament they find themselves in. There was a time when he thought that she would welcome death. Despite the fact that it hurts his ribs to move, Damon gives her hand a firm squeeze of reassurance. Seeing how mangled her arm is, he knows that she'll need medical attention soon or infection and sepsis will set in. Despite the ache in his ribs, he picks her up. "Let's get going," he says, adding, "And congratulations about the other news, buddy. I really am happy for you."

"Thanks, Damon," he says, his eyes drifting to Elena. Holding the door open, he lets Damon walk through first. They begin to maneuver their way over the broken trees and logs. It's hard to imagine that less that twenty four hours ago, the forest was alive and teaming with animals, flora and fauna. And now the landscape looks like something out of a Wes Craven horror movie.

Repositioning Elena so her face is against his chest, he wrenches a piece of his shirt free, using it to cover his mouth and nose. Brady does the same. After what seems like hours but it's really probably been only one or perhaps two, they reach a swath of high ground, breathing a sigh of relief when they see what looks like a cave. Once inside, Damon collapses onto the granite floor. With the pain in his ribs stabbing at him, Damon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath which immediately induces a coughing fit, causing his ribs to hurt all the more.

"Damon, I'm scared," Elena whispers, reeling back when she gets a look at her arm.

"I'm going to get you out of here if it's the last thing I do, Elena. Trust me." Swallowing thickly she nods then buries her head in his chest. When her eyes drop closed again, Damon carefully lays her down. Tearing the shirt off of his back, he uses it make a sling for her arm. Walking out of the cave he looks around at the sheer scope of the devastation. With smoke and ash thick in the air, he can barely see the sunset but the aura is surreal and alien. After a quick glance at his watch and the position of the sun, he knows it's nearly nightfall. He breathes a sigh of relief now that the eruption is finally over. What strikes him the most is that there is absolutely no color in what he can see given the limited visibility. Everything is gray and covered with ash. It's surreal, almost as if it's a lunar landscape rather than one on earth. The abrupt release of pressure over the magma chamber created a glowing cloud of superheated gas and rock debris. It blew out of the mountain face moving at nearly supersonic speed. Although he has no intel on the scope of devastation from what he can see, he knows without doubt that the area just around the blast zone was wiped out almost instantly. The shockwave rolling over the forest for another untold number of miles, leveling century-old trees. When Brady walks out of the cave, he notices how Damon is clutching at his ribs. Seeing him, Damon points to the ground below them. "Look, all the tree trunks are aligned to the north."

"The devastation is unbelievable," Brady agrees, worried when Damon coughs up a little blood.

"Damon?"

"I'm fine, Brady. But if you have to choose between saving me or Elena, you get her out of here. I promised her." Unable to say anything, Brady turns away but Damon clutches his shirt, refusing to let him go. Using his eyes to plead with him, Damon repeats, "Promise me this, Brady."

"I promise."

"Look, I think we're safe for tonight. There's nothing we can do anymore this evening. Do you have any water in the back pack?"

"Yeah," he starts to say, reaching for Damon when he doubles over. Guiding him into the cave, he helps him to lay down. Pulling a canteen of water and a bottle of aspirin out of his pack, he hands them to Damon. After swallowing a couple, he urges Elena to swallow some too. Barely conscious, she manages to get them down without choking. Despite his best efforts to stay awake, the pain becomes too much so he waves the white flag and lets sleep pull him under.

 _"Is this seat taken?" Damon asks._

 _"Help yourself."_

 _"I'm Damon."_

 _"It's nice to meet you, Damon. I'm Elena."_

 _"Well, Elena, I think this might be the start of a beautiful friendship," he says, pointing to the TV above the bar as Rick and Louis walk away in the end scene of Casablanca._

 _"Here's to friendship," Elena toasts. Holding her glass up, he clinks his with hers and throws back his shot of Patron._

* * *

Waking up in the middle of the night, Damon gently touches her cheek with the back of his knuckles. He sighs in relief when she doesn't feel hot. Pulling her arm up onto his chest to elevate it, he pulls her close. With his lips at her ear, he tells her he loves her and reiterates his vow that he will not let her die.

Waking up the next morning, Elena finds herself in Damon's arms. A mixture of pain and pleasure washes through her body. Pleasure at being in his arms again, pain because it'll soon be gone forever. Looking down at her throbbing arm, she recoils at the sight of her mangled flesh. Reality hits her like a freight train. Either they'll die waiting to be rescued or she'll die of the infection that has to be brewing in her body. As carefully as she can, she extricates herself from his arms so she can sit up. Looking around the cave, she gets to her feet and walks out of the cave, aghast at the sight before her. Although the sun is shining, the atmosphere is still filled with ash and smoke. Looking below, she too is taken by the stark desolation. As with Damon, she's shaken by the complete lack of color. There are no greens, blues, purples, yellows everything as far as the eye can see is gray. Hearing her name, she turns around to see Damon stumbling towards her, clutching his right rib cage with his left arm.

"Elena, I'm so sorry I brought you out here. I should have just let you go to Washington. You'd be safe now if I had."

"Stop that, Damon. I wanted to be here too. You couldn't have known that the mountain was going to pick yesterday to erupt." Staring at her with uncertain eyes, she closes the distance between them when he starts to cough. "What happened to you, Damon?"

"When I pulled you out of the water, my ribs were crushed by the logs. I'm fine, but we need to get you out of here. I'm worried about your arm." Just that quickly, her world goes dark and she starts to fall. Despite the pain in his chest, he manages to catch her. Picking her up, he grimaces in pain and grits his teeth as he carries her back into the cave. Brady is just starting to stir. Once he lays Elena down, he collapses himself. "Brady," he says as strongly as he can in his weakened state.

Hearing his name, Brady lurches upright. Seeing that both Damon and Elena look worse than the previous night, he pulls out the canteen again to give them another swallow of water. "Look, you're going to have to try to go for help. We'll hold you back, Brady. Save yourself, Bonnie needs you."

"I'm not letting you two die. You lectured me yesterday.. well... today I'm returning the favor. I'll go, but I'll be back. You have my word," Brady tells him, his voice full of sincerity. After taking a drink of water, he leaves it behind, shakes Damon's hand and disappears out through the cave's opening. Wanting Elena close, he pulls her into his arms and drops a kiss to the crown of her head. It feels so right to have her in his arms again. Whether she believes it or not, he's still completely crazy for her. Never has a woman turned his world upside down like she has. If only...

With his mind elsewhere, he doesn't notice that Elena is now awake. Seeing that familiar look on his face, she reaches up to cradle the right side of his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "It's not your fault, Damon. You know I never blamed you for it. I just didn't know how to communicate with you anymore after it happened. We needed each other more than ever but you pulled away. I didn't know how to reach you. Finally I realized that I had to move on for the sake of my own sanity. I couldn't help you.. you wouldn't let me but I had to find a way to help myself."

"But don't you see, it is my fault? I was supposed to know how to fix it and I failed."

"Damon, you've carried this guilt long enough. It's time to let it go. If we're going to die here, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else."

"You are not dying, I don't care if it takes my last breath to get you to safety, I will do it. I'm not going to fail you too," he professes, clutching the back of her neck, he hugs her to his chest, the tears he's been holding in for years finally break through the barricade, his body wracked with painful spasms and enough remorse to fill two lifetimes.

* * *

 _Huge thanks to you, Eva. I love you more than words can say. I could not do this without your encouragement and support and prompts to make it just a little better._

 _Thank you all for the phenomenal welcome back. I'm simply in awe. Thank you so very much._

 _I would love for you all to have a look at 'I Can't Escape Myself'. I did post the prologue. It's about Damon developing psychosis post traumatic brain injury. It's a long story but please know that Damon is treated with dignity and respect throughout his battle with mental illness._

 _Please remember to click the review button. More to come._

 _Have a safe and wonderful day. Thank you all again._


	4. Chapter 4

Knowing that this is the first time he's cried since it happened, she uses her good arm to gently caress his back. "Why didn't you want to talk about him, Damon?"

"Because I failed him, I failed my son, Elena. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. But it hurts, God, it hurts." he blurts out, wiping the remnants of tears from his eyes. Every time he allows himself to think about Thad, it feels like his heart is being ripped out through his throat all over again. The gaping hole he left behind is still so raw. The pain deep and visceral, is incomparable to anything else he's ever experienced.

"I know, Damon. It's the same for me," Elena professes, bringing her hand up to wipe away the sweat that's beading on her brow. Seeing how pale she is, he places his hand on her forehead. Finding her feverish, he gives her the canteen to make her drink some water. "Get some rest, okay?" Nodding she shifts her position, laying her head on his middle and closes her eyes. Damon watches as her breathing evens out and becomes regular. Knowing that she's asleep, he can't help but think of their son again.

 _Feeling her relax against him, Damon leans over her left shoulder from behind to press a kiss to her sweat dampened hair. When an angry wail fills the room, his heart feels like it's growing three sizes. Giving her a squeeze, he places his mouth to her ear, "You did good, Mrs. Salvatore."_

 _"I may have had a little help," she says, her face simply beaming when the doctor lays their newborn son on her chest. Other than his love for Elena, Damon didn't know that he could love another person so completely as he does his son._

 _"Do you have a name?" the nurse asks when she comes to take him for recording his vital statistics._

 _"Thaddeus Joseph Salvatore."_

That day and his wedding day are the happiest ones of his life. Feeling void, Damon combs his fingers through her hair, knowing how she used to love it when he'd stroke her scalp with his nails in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Dropping his eyes closed, his mind immediately takes him back to his perfect little baby boy.

 _"Hurry, Damon, you'll miss it," Elena screams, aiming their video camera at Thad as he struggles to roll over. Running into the room like gangbusters, Damon stops in his tracks when he sees his little boy make an oomph noise and then rolls onto his belly. "He did it," Damon utters, his heart bursting out of his chest. It's like no baby has ever accomplished such a feat. Picking him up, he raises him above his head, making the boy giggle and squirm wildly. Dropping his eyes to his wife's, a sense of overwhelming, consuming love begins to pump through his body with each beat of his heart. The emotion is so powerful, it nearly takes his breath away._

With utmost care so as not to disturb her, he shifts his position to try to relieve some of the biting pain in his ribs. Once he's relatively comfortable, he glances down at Elena again. Seeing the bloody drainage on the tee shirt that he wrapped her with puts the fear of God in him. If she were to die, he would cease to exist as well. Whether that means dying or turning off his emotions, he didn't quite know for sure. Feeling the overwhelming need to take care of her, he takes off one of his shoes, pulls off his sock and douses it with a small bit of water from the canteen. With a gentle hand, he dabs her fever laden face. A sense of helplessness begins to overwhelm him, making his breath catch painfully in his chest. Looking up at the caves rock ceiling, he says softly, "Please Brady, bring help before it's too late."

* * *

Bruised and battered himself, Brady climbs over downed trees and ash as far as the eye can see as he makes his way towards the highway. Tripping over a large piece of a tree trunk, he grimaces when he sees blood on his shin. Knowing that he has to push himself to move forward, he closes his eyes for a few moments to rest. Not long after, he drags himself to his feet and continues on a northerly trek. Thank God, he had a compass in his pocket. As the mid afternoon sun beats down on him, frying his already damaged skin, he pushes himself beyond the limits he thought himself capable. Every time his body tells him he's had enough, he pictures Bonnie and their unborn child. The biggest thrill of his life was seeing their little one squirm around inside Bonnie's womb. Pausing for a moment, he bends over, pressing his palms against his upper legs. After several moments, he looks up, adrenaline surging when he sees the highway not far ahead. Summoning every ounce of strength he has left, he runs, flailing his arms wildly for help as soon as he plants his feet on the blacktop. Panting for air, he thanks his maker when a cop car pulls up.

"Get in," the guy says, flicking open the passenger side door.

"Thank.. you..," he puffs, still struggling to catch a breath.

"I need to get help. Two of my friends are holed up in a cave. I promised them I wouldn't let them die."

The cop stares at him for a few seconds before nodding, finally shifting into drive after offering Brady a bottle of water.

* * *

 _Sitting in the doctor's office with Thad in his arms, Damon looks up when he hears the door open. The stoic look on Elijah's face scares him more than anything. Feeling Elena lace her fingers with his, he braces for the worst._

 _"I'm sorry to tell you this but Thad has Neuroblastoma. It's a rare disease in which a solid tumor is formed by nerve cells called neuroblasts. Normally these immature cells grow and mature into functioning nerve cells but in Neuroblastoma, they become cancer cells instead."_

 _"How bad is it, Elijah?" Elena asks, her voice void of emotion. Numb himself, Damon can only stare straight ahead._

 _"With treatment, many children with Neuroblastoma have a good chance of surviving. In general, Neuroblastoma has a better outcome if the cancer hasn't spread or if the child is younger than one year old when it's diagnosed. That said, Thad's cancer has already spread to his bones. Unfortunately that makes him high-risk which is harder to cure and is more likely to become resistant to standard therapies or come back after initially successful treatment. Unfortunately metastatic disease is common. Common places it spreads to are the bone marrow, lymph nodes and cortical bone."_

 _The rest of the conversation is lost on Damon as his whole word begins to collapse around him._

Waking up with a start, he sees Elena looking at him, her eyes glazed with fever. Although she's coherent, she still looks like hell. "What were you thinking about?"

"Thad and how much I miss him."

"Talk to me, Damon, please? Why did you pull away from me?"

"I should've seen the signs, Elena. He was our son. How come I didn't notice his lack of appetite? I saw the bruises but I thought they were what every kid gets. You know he was boisterous and rambunctious. It was only when he started to have belly pain and his color turned so pale and then the uneven pupil that I knew something was terribly wrong. He was my son, I should've realized. If I had, maybe he could've been saved?" he blurts out, dropping his face into his hands when his eyes start to tear again.

"I know it's painful and it will never quite go away. I have never blamed you nor will I ever lay that at your feet. What happened was tragic, Damon, but it's not your fault, it's no ones fault."

"I blame me though, Elena."

"You are not responsible for his death, Damon," she stresses, taking his hand. "You can't keep blaming yourself for something that neither of us had any control over. In the aftermath of it all, I needed you so badly but you just closed yourself off from me and everyone else. I know it was killing you inside but it was like you flipped a switch, turning off your emotions."

"Do you have any idea how small I felt when you'd look at me with such pain. Your eyes were dead, Elena and it was my fault. I blamed myself enough for both of us but to see it reflected in your eyes nearly took me out at the knees. You don't have a clue as to the self loathing I felt, hell, I still feel it if I allow my mind to go there. He was my son, Elena, I failed him and I failed you."

"Damon, I'm sorry if you thought that I blamed you. His cancer, no one is to blame for that so please stop torturing yourself."

"Elena, it's not that easy."

"It happened, and then afterwards when I needed you so desperately, you weren't there. That's what I blamed you for, not the fact that he got sick and died." Unable to look at her, Damon drops his face into his hands as more memories threaten to overwhelm him.

 _Numb with grief, Elena can only watch as her boy is lowered into the ground. Although Damon is holding her up, he's as numb as she is. Although she knows that today, he's trying to keep himself together, she is also very aware of the fact that he hasn't allowed himself to cry yet. She doesn't understand how he can be this way, distant and void of emotion when she needs him so much. When she hears the priest begin to speak again, she raises her eyes back to his tiny coffin._

 _"Lord, welcome into your presence your son, Thaddeus whom you have called from this life. Release him from all of his sins, bless him with eternal light and peace and raise him up to live forever with all of your saints in the glory of the Resurrection. We ask this through Christ our Lord."_

 _As soon as the priest finishes the words, she and Damon stoop over to pick up a handful of dirt, dropping it into the grave with him. Unable to hold in her emotions a second longer, Elena's tears fall like rain down her cheeks. Unable to say anything to comfort her, Damon pulls her into his arms, holding onto her for dear life. Although a small gesture, it's the least he can do today.._

"Where were you?" Elena asks, reaching over to brush a stray lock of hair off of his forehead.

After wiping his tears, his eyes meet hers. "You should know that Bonnie is pregnant."

"What?" she asks, feeling her heart begin to jerk uncomfortably inside of her chest.

"Brady told me yesterday... Look, Elena, I know this is hard but I want to be happy for her. She's wanted to be a mother for as long as I've known her."

"She told me that she used to make you play dolls with her." Dropping his eyes for a moment, Damon can't help but smile just a little. Sometimes he wishes he could turn back time, giving himself a do-over of his marriage and his son's life. Knowing what he knows now, they would've been able to get Thad help before it was too late.

"I suspected as much. She hasn't been herself lately. I caught her running to the bathroom not long ago."

"Elena, I wish I could change everything I did. I know you probably won't believe me but I still love you, more than ever. I would do anything to have another chance to make things right between us."

"I can't talk about this now," she barely manages to get out before her eyes start to roll. Grabbing onto her so she doesn't crack her head open on the granite floor of the cave, he lays her down carefully on his lap. Knowing that he has to find a way to get them out of here or he'll lose her for good, Damon gently lays her down so he can stand up. Clutching his ribs, he walks to the mouth of the cave, watching as the mountain starts to spew more ash. Looking up at the sky, the ash making it a brilliant shade of orange, his mind once again drifts to Brady. With hope fading, he whispers, "Please buddy, hurry back."

* * *

Unable to lay still, Brady jumps off the gurney. In his small emergency bay, he takes care not to pull out his IV before he starts pacing the room. Despite his protestations that he was fine and that he needed to go back, the officer wouldn't hear of it, bringing him here to the hospital instead. His heart is slamming against his chest a mile a minute as he walks back and forth. Nearly at the point of tears, he's this close to leaving against medical advice when he hears the curtain hooks slide on the rack. Spinning around, he gets lightheaded, grabbing onto his IV pole for support. Before he can say a word, the doctor helps him to the gurney. Just as she's about to speak, the curtain flies open. Before he has a chance to even look up, his middle is wrapped in Bonnie's arms.

"Thank God, you're okay. I've been an absolute wreck," she blurts out, her voice broken with tears. Pulling her into his embrace, he buries his face in her hair for a minute, just to breathe her in. All too quickly the moment passes when Bonnie pulls back slightly.

"Are the other's here?" she asks, her eyes darting from Brady to the doctor.

"Slater is gone, Bonnie."

"What? No, no," she cries, pressing her face into his strong chest. Closing her eyes, he revels in the feel of her, knowing that he could easily have died had he been sitting where Slater was.

"Damon and Elena?" she asks, her voice broken and in pain.

"They're still out there. I promised him that I'd bring help back. I need to get out of here," Brady adds, scrubbing his hand down his face. Seeing the name tag, he looks at Dr. Fell. "You have to understand, I gave him my word."

"You're dehydrated and light headed. Your blood pressure is low and your electrolytes are out of whack. After you have a couple liters of IV fluids, I'll recheck you lab work. If it's satisfactory, I'll discharge you."

"I'll leave AMA if I have too but by God, I am going to find a way to save my friends," he adds, feeling his own tears begin to well up in his eyes. Raising her arms, Bonnie places them on her husband's shoulders, giving them a comforting squeeze. "Bonnie, please understand..., I'm relatively unscathed compared to them. I have to help them."

"Brady, let the doctor do her job. I'm going to call Ric. Maybe he can arrange for a chopper or something?"

"But he doesn't know where they are," he rasps, his fluttering heartbeat nearly taking his breath away.

"I'm going to find a bathroom and then I'll give Ric a call. I know it's hard, baby but neither Damon or Elena would ever ask you to risk your life. You know that," she whispers, feeling a deep visceral pain at the thought of never seeing her best friends again.

"If he won't do something, I'm going back out there. I love you, Bonnie but I gave them my word."

"I'll be back in a little bit," she adds, pressing another kiss to lips before excusing herself and disappearing when the curtain closes again.

* * *

 _"Daddy up," Thad asks, raising his hands at his daddy's feet. Laughing, Damon lifts him up and plops him down on his shoulders. While holding onto his legs with one arm, Damon offers Elena the other, linking their fingers when she latches on. Walking through the zoo, both of his parents are giddy themselves the way he squeals each time he sees a new animal. "Momma, elphant," he squawks, his mouth hanging open as he points excitedly._

 _'Yes, baby, that's an elephant." Walking farther down the trail, the step in front of the giraffe paddock. Thad claps his hands animatedly, bouncing on his daddy's shoulders._

 _"Slow down, little man. Daddy doesn't want to drop you," he laughs, pulling him off of his shoulders and into his arms._

 _"Daddy, up," he pouts adorably._

 _"In a little bit okay?"_

 _"Daddy, cream, cream," he squeals when he sees the giant ice cream cone sign above the refreshment stand. Shaking his head at his wife, he smiles. Unable to deny his boy anything within reason, he lets Elena take Thad while he gets in line to get them ice cream._

Waking up in a cold sweat, Damon looks around, momentarily confused by their surroundings. When the reality of their situation punches him squarely in the chest, the first thing his does is to press his hand against her back. When he feels the rising and falling of her chest, he drops his head back in relief. His heart is hammering wildly against his ribs in relief. After a few moments, he carefully gets out from under her. Walking to the cave entrance, he has to face the fact that they need to get out of here if they're to have any chance of being rescued. Doubting that Brady will be able to find his way back here, he looks around to see if there's a less treacherous way to get her out of here safely. Seeing the barren wasteland spread out before him is so surreal. It's like he's standing on the lunar surface, everything is gray and dead and what's even more eerie is the lack of sound. He can't begin to contemplate the death toll in both human and animal loss, not to mention the old growth forests. Raising his hand, he wipes his brow. No matter which way he looks the trek looks almost impossible. Although everything in him is screaming no, a little part of him knows that if he doesn't get medical attention for her that he may have to watch her being lowered to the ground to rest beside their son. If he lost her, he'd might as well plunge the dagger in too, he can't, won't survive without her. Taking a few breaths, he watches as a steam blast begins to spew from Mt. St. Helens. Gingerly walking back in, he breathes a huge sigh of relief when he sees that she's awake.

"You have to go, Damon, save yourself."

"Don't you say that. I'm never going to leave you again, Elena. You're going to get out of here and you're going to die an old lady asleep in your bed."

"I want to be with _him_ ," she mumbles, her eyes glassy with fever and delirium. "I miss him so much."

"I know, baby. I know," he whispers, pulling her into his arms. With the utmost care, he cradles her arm. Her small body is wracked with fever and her eyes are sunken in. Swallowing thickly, he carefully lays her back down so he can stand up. Stooping down again, he encourages her to drink what little water is left in the canteen. Once he's sure that she's swallowed, he picks her up and starts to carry out of the cave and onto the rocks that surround them.

* * *

"Brady, how are you man?" Stepping into Brady's hospital room with Bonnie, Ric takes Brady's hand and gives him a one-armed hug. Because his labs are out of whack, Dr. Fell insisted on keeping him overnight to give him IV fluids. Although he wanted to bolt, Bonnie put her foot down, demanding that he get the care and attention he needs too. He knows she's worried sick about Damon and Elena too but she's known Damon since they first played together in the sandbox. They literally know everything about each other, fears, joys, favorites, and things that Brady sometimes doesn't understand. But he's not jealous, he knows the love they share is that of a brother and sister despite the lack of shared DNA coursing through their veins.

"You have to find them, Ric. They won't survive another night up there. Elena's arm was mangled when we were trying to escape the initial blast. He hurt his ribs but was coughing up some blood so I know he's worse off than he let on too."

"What can you tell me, Brady? I got Matt on standby at the airfield. Can you give me any idea as to where to look?" Ric asks, hands on his hips. Brady stares at him for what seems like a lifetime before dropping his face into his hands in frustration.

"Everything looks the same up there now. It's all gray and desolate and indistinguishable. We took shelter in a cave. The first road sign I saw was the one pointing to the Spirit Lake Lodge. I was in the cop's car for maybe a mile when I saw that. I happened to have my compass, I walked in a northeasterly direction when I left them. They barely had any water, no food, nothing to cover Elena's wounds but Damon's tee shirt. He used it to dress Elena's arm. You know it still gets chilly up there at night, Ric. Please, please you have to find them, he cries, fisting Ric's shirt with his hands.

"I'll find them," he reassures Brady, nodding his head. Taking a breath, Ric shares a look with Bonnie and then turns on his heels to walk out of the room. Pausing at the door when he hears Brady say his name, Ric turns around.

"Tyler, Trevor?"

"Tyler is fine but Trevor is gone. He was only five miles from the mountain, Brady."

"Dear God," he cries, dropping his chin to his chest when his tears threaten to consume him. Knowing that Damon and Elena are in dire need of rescue, Ric hurries out. Practically running out of the building, he jumps into his car and speeds down the highway to reach Matt.

* * *

"I'm coming baby," she whispers, her eyes hazy as her confusion worsens. Needing to take a breather, Damon sees a large boulder with a fairly flat top. After what seems like hours, but it's probably really only minutes, Damon lays her down. Sitting down himself, he bends over the waist, his face nearly touching his knees. When he tries to take a deep breath, his body is wracked with spasms as it induces a coughing jag. Once he catches his breath, he stands back up to try to get some sense of direction. Climbing up and onto the rock, he relaxes slightly when he thinks he sees the highway in the distance. With the afternoon sun beating down on them, he wants to move before they lose the daylight. He doesn't know if she'll survive another night in the elements. Although he tries to be careful, he trips getting down. He grimaces, swearing loudly when a sharp rock cuts into his shin. Once he's back on his feet he picks her up, carrying her as best despite his pronounced limp. Knowing he's near collapse himself, he struggles to put one foot in front of the other. When his vision starts to swim and belly begins to churn, Damon has to lay her down quickly. As soon as she's out of his arms, he wretches painfully, nothing but bile spewing from his mouth.

With his stomach twisting painfully, he collapses onto the ground. Resigned to dying, he lays on the grass to stare into the sky. Just as he's about to close his eyes, he hears the sweetest sound he's ever heard, that of a helicopter getting louder and louder. Forcing himself to his feet, he pushes the limits of his endurance when a surge of adrenaline spikes though his weakened body. Climbing on a rock, he starts to wave frantically, tears springing from his eyes when he sees them wave their acknowledgement. He watches intently as someone in a flight suit is lowered to the ground. Doing a double take when he sees Kol Mikaelson, all he can do is point to Elena. When she's safely in Kol's arms, he doesn't move his eyes till she and Kol, are raised up and pulled into the chopper.

Hearing his name, he looks up to see Ric with a blow horn. "Damon, there's no room. We'll get her to the hospital and then we'll be back for you." Instinctively knowing that his body is shutting down, Damon collapses in a heap on the ash covered ground. Yelling at Matt to drop him down, Ric throws the canteen strap over his shoulder, climbs onto the rope, belaying down to his friend. As soon as his feet touch the ground, he runs over to Damon. Lifting his head into his arms, he puts the canteen to his lips. Although he knows Damon is seriously injured, he breathes a sigh of relief when he opens his eyes and drinks.

"Elena?" Damon whispers, his voice pained.

"She's on her way to the hospital, Damon. Matt should be back within the hour." Feeling Damon sag in his arms, he looks at his face at the same time Damon's eyes roll to the back of his head when the edges blur as darkness and cold fill all the spaces in between.

* * *

 _The loss of a child takes a toll on a family. Of course, Damon isn't to blame that his son died of cancer but sometimes we shoulder unnecessary burdens._

 _Huge thanks to Eva for helping me with this and with all my stories. She's truly brilliant._

 _And THANK YOU all so very much. I'm in awe truly._

 _I would love for you all to have a look at 'I Can't Escape Myself'. It started out to be a short story and it grew and grew and grew._

 _Please click that review button. More to come._

 _Have a safe and wonderful day._


	5. Chapter 5

"Please, you have to tell me about my wife," Damon begs, fisting the doctor's smock with his hands. His heart is slamming like a locomotive inside of his chest. All he can think about is her and whether or not she'll be okay. Even if he doesn't get a second chance with her, he only wants her to be safe and well and happy too, if it's without him so be it. Feeling his belly cramp, he starts to curl up but doesn't release the doctor.

"Your wife is in surgery to repair her arm. You'll be able to see her probably tomorrow." Damon stares at her through wide bleary eyes for a moment before he finally comprehends and releases his grip on her clothing. "We have your labs back, Damon. Your creatinine kinase level is very high as well. It's a sensitive indicator of muscle injury. Also your potassium level is dangerously high. Hyperkalemia or a high potassium level is an immediate threat to life in the hours immediately after injury. Liberated potassium can cause life-threatening dysrhythmias and death. The nurse will be bringing you some medication to help lower that level. You're going to have to be hospitalized a few days for IV fluids and to watch your lab levels. Rhabdomyolysis can damage your kidneys. Quite honestly, I'm more worried about you right now than her."

"I don't care about me, just help her. I'll crawl to her room if I have to but you can't stop me from seeing her, she's my wife," he mumbles as his eyes roll to the back of his head, losing consciousness once more.

"Dr. Salvatore, you have got to be the most stubborn man on the planet," she says aloud, hoping that he'll hear her despite his lack of alertness.

* * *

With what's left of their work family gathered to wait for news on Damon and Elena, Bonnie volunteers to go for coffee. Brady is set to be released in the morning so she quietly leaves his room so he can get some much needed sleep. She's worried sick about both of her best friends but she knows that she has to be strong not only for herself but for Brady and their other friends too. After handing Tyler a cup, she offers one to Ric and his wife, Jenna. Elena's friend Kol is here too waiting for something, anything. With her stomach turning not only from the all day sickness of pregnancy but also uncertainly, she can't sit still. Walking outside, she starts to follow the sidewalk around the hospital just for something to do. Pausing at the little garden, she sits down on the concrete bench and buries her face in her hands. Several seconds pass before she raises her eyes to the heavens, silently pleading for their swift recovery. When she feels tears beginning to fall from her eyes, she wipes them off with the back of her hand. Not wanting her friends to see her, she gets up to walk some more. Barely walking a few feet, she turns around when she hears her name.

"You should come back in. They were escorting the others to a conference room. Dr. Fell is coming to speak with us."

"Thanks for coming for me, Ric," she adds, dropping her head when her tears form all over again. "They have to be okay, they just have to be," she blurts out, fear erupting in her belly and spreading with each pump her heart.

"I know, Bonnie. Come on let's go inside. I'm sure the doctor has more important things to do than wait for us." When she nods, he wraps an arm around her shoulder and leads her back into the hospital. Once inside, they're directed to the conference room where they find the others. Taking a seat, they wait a little longer. Just as Bonnie is ready to fly out of her seat, the door opens. Dr. Fell and another doctor step into the room and shut the door.

"How are our friends?" Ric asks, looking at the doctor intently.

"Elena is in the recovery room. We took her to surgery to clean her arm and repair it. She should regain full use of it with physical therapy and hard work. She'll likely sleep most of the night."

"And Damon?" Bonnie asks, her heart beating wildly against her chest.

"Fortunately he had no broken ribs, just nasty contusions but they are quite painful too. After cleaning up the gash on his shin, we stitched it. However, our biggest concern is that he has Rhabdomyolysis."

"Ha?"

"Rhabdomyolysis is a serious syndrome due to a direct or indirect muscle injury. It results from the death of muscle fibers and release of their contents into the bloodstream. This can lead to complications such as renal failure. This occurs when the kidneys cannot remove waste and concentrated urine. In rare cases, rhabdomyolysis can even cause death. However, prompt treatment often brings a good outcome."

"How would he get that?" Bonnie asks, her eyes darting around the table till she finally focuses in on Dr. Fell again.

"Extreme muscle strain, especially in someone who is an untrained athlete. This can happen to elite athletes too, however. And it can be more dangerous if there is more muscle mass to break down. Both of your friends went through something very traumatic."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Most patients can expect full recovery with prompt treatment. Doctors can even reverse kidney damage. Treatment with intravenous fluids helps maintain urine production and prevent kidney failure. Rarely, dialysis treatment may be needed to help the kidneys filter waste products while they are recovering. Management of electrolyte abnormalities helps protect the heart and other organs. Most causes of rhabdomyolysis are reversible," the doctor standing beside Dr. Fell explains.

"When can we see them?"

"Damon is in his room. He briefly regained consciousness but he's beyond exhausted. As I said, both of them will likely sleep until tomorrow."

"Thank you for taking care of them. I really need to see him for myself. Damon and I have known each other since we were children."

"Sure, Mrs. Williams. He went to ICU." Hearing a collective gasp, she further explains, "The only reason I had him admitted to ICU is because his potassium level is very high. Potassium levels both low and high can cause life threatening arrhythmias. We'll be monitoring his heart rhythm till this crisis passes. When you get up there, you can ask at the nurses desk for the room number," she adds then the two of them excuse themselves, leaving the little family unit alone to talk amongst themselves.

"I'm going to go to see him," Bonnie says. When she walks out of the room, everyone follows her. As soon as she reaches Damon's room, she goes in and pulls up a chair. Taking his hand between hers, she rubs them as tears fall from her eyes. Along with the pallor, he's full of scratches, cuts and bruises himself. His leg is elevated on a pillow and his machines are all humming loudly. Although she's going to go back to Brady's room in a little bit, she lays her head down briefly after dropping a kiss to his hand. Hearing her name with a painful sounding inflection, she lifts her head and breathes a sigh of relief that he's awake.

"Elena?" he whispers, his lips and mouth both parched.

"It's me, Bonnie. I'll get you a drink of water." Standing up she picks up the cup and places it against his lips. After a couple of swallows, he grabs onto her wrist, forcing her too look at him.

"Elena?"

"She's going to be fine, Damon. They did surgery on her arm but the doctor said she'll be as good as new soon. "Thank, Christ," he mumbles, dropping his head back on the pillow. Several seconds pass before he looks at his friend again. "I need to see her, Bonnie. Help me."

"Damon, she just had surgery. She needs her rest."

"I won't rest unless I see with my own two eyes that she's alright."

"I'll ask the nurse but you better behave if the answer is a big fat no."

"No promises," he whispers, dropping his head back onto the pillow, his eyes falling shut. Standing up, she presses a kiss to his forehead, whispers goodnight and then disappears to let him sleep in peace.

* * *

 _After putting the finishing touches on the table, lighting the drippy candles and rearranging the flowers till they're just right, she steps back to admire it a little. Although she knows things aren't great between them right now, she's still completely in love with her husband. Having spoken to her counselor, she now knows that often couples go through a rough spot after the tragic loss of a child. Feeling her tears begin to well up at the thought of Thad, she takes a few deep breaths to try to compose herself. Just as she reaches up to wipe her eyes, she hears the garage door open. When the butterflies start fluttering around, she holds her breath till she sees his face._

 _"What's all this?" he asks, turning away for a moment to set his messenger bag down._

 _"I want to fight for us, Damon."_

 _"Elena? You haven't lost me."_

 _"Maybe not physically but emotionally we're so far apart. I love you so very much. Please, for him, for us, help me."_

 _"Elena, I don't know what to say. I love you too, very, very much but I can't forget him. I don't want to move on without him. Can't you understand that?"_

 _"I can't keep living like this. You're so distant all the time, you hole up in your office. We're more strangers than husband and wife right now. We were talking about trying again before everything went wrong. Can we try again... please, Damon?"_

 _"NO, Elena. We can't replace him with another child. How could you even consider such a thing?" he screams, looking at her. The disdainful look that he's leveling her with is almost enough to take her out at the knees. Feeling like her insides have been kicked, she stares at him, her face contorting with pain. Without missing a beat, he storms out of the house, leaving her alone again to deal with the repercussions._

Seeing her begin to stir, Damon picks up her hand again. It's almost as if it's his life preserver. Her eyes start to flutter and open just slightly before dropping closed again. When they start to open again, he holds his breath and waits. On edge, he feels the bile burn at the back of his throat as he waits. Dropping his forehead onto their clasped hands, he feels tears beginning to form. All he wants is another chance to show her how much he still loves and wants a life with her and how very sorry he is for everything that he did wrong. But he also knows that she doesn't trust him with her heart, he destroyed that trust when he pushed her away after Thad died. He dealt with their son's tragic death in the worst possible way. Not only did he destroy himself, he destroyed their marriage too. For what, Damon? he asks himself. Now he's set to die a lonely old man because he let pain and grief override everything else, turning him into a man that he abhors. As much as he hates to admit it, had she not left him, he doesn't know if he ever would've pulled himself out of the black hole that he was languishing in for so many months after their boy passed.

"Damon?"

Hearing her whisper, he raises his head. "Elena, thank God," he breathes. The air between them is heavy, nearly taking his breath away.

"Where am I? What happened?" she asks, struggling to try to sit up, setting off her alarms as she does. Before Damon can utter a word, the nurse runs in to check the alarms.

"Calm down, Mrs. Salvatore."

Elena stares at her but when she tries to lift her left arm, she grimaces in pain. "My arm?" Taking her hand in his, Damon presses a kiss to the base of her thumb, causing chill bumps to erupt all over her body.

"Sweetheart, the volcano, remember? It got mangled by the log jam. They took you to surgery to repair it." Nodding, Elena drops back onto the covers. Uncomfortable with his attention, she pulls her arm away from him. Closing his eyes, he drops his head at her rejection. As soon as the nurse finishes up with Elena, Damon looks at her with such intensity that it makes her heart pound painfully.

"Before.. before you leave, Elena, can we please talk? I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I need it."

"I don't know what to say, Damon. You hurt me... badly. I won't deny that I still love you but I need more than that. I don't trust you."

Despite flinching at her words, Damon knows he had it coming. "I know I deserve it but will you at least, please Elena, at least hear me out. Please?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Say yes, Elena? Please, I promise you that you won't regret it."

"You said that about St. Helens too and look where it got me," she scoffs, albeit playfully. Damon is tense, his posture stiff as he sits at the edge of his wheelchair, relaxing visibly, his shoulders sagging when she bobs her head up and down.

* * *

"Knock, knock," Bonnie says when she walks into Elena's hospital room.

"Bonnie, hi," Elena says, smiling. Without realizing it, her eyes drop to Bonnie's belly.

"You know?"

"Damon told me. I'm happy for you and Brady. I really am," Elena tells her sincerely.

"Speaking of Damon, has he been here to see you?"

"Yeah, he was here this morning when I woke up. We talked for a little bit. I didn't say anything but he looked rough. Is he okay?"

"He spent the night in intensive care. He yelled at the nurse and said he'd rip his IV's out if they didn't let him see you. He's hooked up to his IV's and heart monitor now."

"Intensive care? Why?" she asks, her voice rising in alarm.

"The doctor explained that he had something called Rhabdomyolysis. It sounds complicated but she said his potassium was very high and that the heart sometimes reacts badly to abnormal potassium levels. She said it can also cause kidney damage but that it's reversible with treatment. She told us that she wanted to monitor his heart carefully and that was the reason for intensive care."

"But he's going to be okay?"

"Yes, you know your husband. He's as stubborn as the day is long."

"I do. I know this is some segue but have you been to the house to check on Jasper and Jake? Damon said Mrs. Flowers was going to watch them but you're family, Bonnie."

"I haven't but I'll do that when I take Brady home. He had to spend the night as well but he just needed IV fluids. They're getting his discharge paperwork ready now so I suppose I should go." Standing up, Bonnie gives her a hug, whispering, "He still loves you, Elena. Please hear him out?" When she pulls away, she gives a Elena a smile then walks out of the room, leaving Elena alone with her thoughts.

* * *

"Now that your last dose of antibiotic is done, we can take out that IV and you'll be free to leave, Dr. Salvatore," her nurse explains, unhooking the tubing from the hub of her IV site.

"I'm free," Elena jokes when she pulls the cannula out of her vein and puts a 2x2 and a piece of Coban over the site. With the nurse's help, she puts on her bra and shirt that Bonnie brought up for her. After which she instructs Elena and helps arrange the sling so it's comfortable. Once Elena is finished dressing, she receives her discharge instructions. As the nurse leaves the room, Kol walks in to drive her home.

"How are you?" he asks, staring at her like he hasn't seen her in a long time.

"I need to stop by Damon's room to tell him goodbye. Apparently, his health was in much more dire straights than my own. They're not discharging him just yet."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Are you still going to go to DC as planned?"

"No. The doctor would only discharge me if I came back for antibiotics twice a day for the next ten days. They set it up for me to go to the infusion center to have it done. I had a lot of dirt and grime in the wounds."

"And what about Damon?"

"He... he says he wants to talk. And I don't know what to think, Kol. A part of me wants this more than anything and the other part of me is afraid to trust him again. We had a great marriage once upon a time. But when Thad died, he took it all with him. I vaguely remember him saying that he wanted another chance when we were stuck out there but in all honesty, I don't know if it really happened or if I hallucinated it."

"Elena, you're my friend. If you love Damon and want to be with him, just be with him."

"I wish it was that simple, Kol," she adds, forcing a smile. Before either can say another word, the nurse's aide is walking in the door pushing a wheelchair to take her downstairs. Once she sits down, Kol picks up the duffel bag that Bonnie brought in for her.

"Are you ready to go, Mrs. Salvatore?" Having not heard that expression in a very long time, Elena forces a smile and nods, dropping her eyes as the girl pushes her out of the room and into the awaiting elevator.

* * *

Pacing back and forth in his room, Damon is chomping at the bit to get the hell out of this hospital. If he isn't pacing, he's sitting at his bedside incessantly tapping his foot against the tiled floor. It's been over an hour since Dr. Fell told him that she was giving him his walking papers. All he can think about is getting to Elena and whether or not she'll hear him out. His gut is alight with anxiety, the butterflies fluttering around chaotically, painfully so. Picking up his water pitcher, he takes a long draw on the straw to ease his cotton mouth. Just thinking about having such a painful conversation, dries up all of his saliva. Just as he's about to push the nurse call button again, he hears a rapping sound. Looking up, he sees Brady standing in his doorway. Unable to hide the disappointed look that washes over his face, he drops his eyes.

"Don't look so excited to see me, buddy," Brady teases, plopping into the chair beside his bed.

"You know it's not like that, Brady. I was just hoping that she would be here."

"Damon, she can't drive with her arm, not yet anyway."

"I suppose.. I hadn't given that a thought," he starts to say but is interrupted when he hears footsteps. Raising his eyes, he forces a smile when the nurse comes to the bedside. After going over his discharge instructions with him, she puts on a pair of gloves.

"I need to take out your IV and then I'll have one of the nurses aides take you downstairs to freedom," she teases. When she starts pulling the tape off, Damon yelps, "Ouch" as his arm hairs are coming off along with the tape. Hearing Brady trying to stifle a laugh, he glares at him, yelping once more when she pulls off the last piece of tape. After dressing it with a 2x2 and some coban, she wishes him good luck and leaves the room. Standing up, he puts his paperwork in his bag. When the aide doesn't show up immediately, Damon is about ready to pop a vessel. Seeing how agitated his friend is, Brady gets up to go get help. Moments later the aide and Brady come back in. As soon as Damon is seated, they're wheeled into the elevator, one step closer to his freedom.

* * *

Although he had hoped that his anxiety level would wane a little bit once he got out of the hospital, it's amplified to def con ten. As soon as Brady pulls into his driveway, Damon unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the car door. Once Brady stops the car completely, Damon jumps out. Leaning in he shakes Brady's hand and thanks him for bringing him home. Knowing that he'll have to drive over to Mrs. Flowers kennel to pick Jake and Jasper, he decides it can wait till after he takes his bag in the house and has something cold to drink. Meredith offered him a prescription for same medication for his ribs and shin, he refused. When he was a young and stupid teenager, he did his share of pot and pills and doesn't want to go down that road again. It was only after seeing a volcano eruption on TV that he knew that's what he wanted to do with his life. He was completely fascinated by the science, so fascinated in fact that he quit the drugs and stopped hanging around with the lowlifes that at the time, he thought were his friends. He met Elena in college, he was completely consumed with her the first time he laid eyes on her. At first she didn't like him very much, telling him that he was brash and full of bluster. With persistence, he eventually won her over. She made him a better person in so many ways.

They were insanely happy when they found out that they were having a baby. Thad was the light of both of their lives. When he died, a part of Damon died too. Not knowing how to cope, for Damon it was almost like the snow queen put that sliver of ice in his eye. Rather than seeing the world for what it was, everything darkened almost like the bleak gray landscape that is the aftermath of the St. Helens eruption. Watching Brady as he pulls out of the driveway, he waves goodbye. As soon as he disappears around the corner, Damon sucks it up and goes into the house. He barely pushes the door open when he's immediately knocked on his ass, tackled by Jasper and Jake. Bathing him with their tongues, he laughs and plays with them a little bit, while trying to protect his sore ribs.

"How did you guys get home?" he asks, struggling to get to his feet. When he hears _her_ voice, his heart starts hammering painfully in his chest.

"Welcome home, Damon."

* * *

 _Thank you, Eva. Love you so, so much._

 _And a humungous thank you to all of you for the follows, favorites and your reviews. I'm in awe._

 _The other story I have in progress is 'I Can't Escape Myself'. It's about Damon's struggle with mental illness. I hope you'll give it a look too._

 _Fellow nurse, traumajunkie, has 'Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop' in progress. You'll like what she's written so far._

 _Please hit that review button. More to come._

 _Have a safe and wonderful day and thank you all again. You're the best._


	6. Chapter 6

Staring at her with his mouth agape, Damon stands up. So stunned to find her here, it feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him. Uncharacteristically nervous, his stomach starts to roil and churn. When he can finally put two thoughts together, the only word out of his mouth is, "Elena?"

Anxious herself, Elena tilts her head just slightly as she stares at him. This man still wields the power to take her breath away when he nails her with that robust stare of his. Forcing a smile on her face, she says, "You said that you wanted to talk, Damon. I can't make any promises but I am willing to hear you out. I want to know why you pushed me away."

"Oh thank, God," he utters, visibly relaxing in front of her eyes. "Thank you, Elena. I understand that you'll need time, maybe even a lot of time but I'll wait till my dying day if I have to."

"Damon, don't talk like that. No matter what happens between us, I still want you to be happy. I could never hate you, Damon."

"Um, why don't we go into the living room to talk? It's more comfortable in there." With a nod, she starts to walk to the other room, the dogs following behind them.

"I'm going to run upstairs for a minute, Elena. I'll be down shortly."

"Take your time."

"I think this conversation is going to need alcohol. Help yourself," he says then walks slowly up the stairs, grimacing with each step he takes. Reaching the solace of his room, he collapses onto the bed, burying his face in his hands, his breath coming in spurts. Never did he imagine being so nervous to have a conversation with his wife. Knowing that he has to face the music, he blows out a puff of air and then puts on a comfortable pair of sweat pants and an old tee shirt. After taking the time to pee, he goes back downstairs knowing this conversation will either make or break him and _them_. When he reaches the living room, he sees her standing by the window, her back to him as she stares outside. She has always loved their backyard. Thad's swing set used to sit out there but when he died, Damon absolutely could not stand to look at it so he took it apart and destroyed it.

As if she senses his presence, she turns around. Forcing a smile on her face, she walks over and takes a seat on the couch, folding a leg underneath her to get comfortable. Walking over to the bar, Damon asks her if she wants anything. Bending over, he pets both of their dogs who have settled on the floor near Elena's side of the sofa.

"Sure, just a Seagram's cooler if you have some. I'm still on medication too, Damon."

"I think I'm going to need a little something stronger," he mentions. Reaching down to the small fridge behind and underneath the bar, he pulls out a Jamaica Me Coola and fills a tumbler half full of his best bourbon. Taking a breath he steps over, hands her the drink then sits down at the other end of the couch. Lifting the glass to his lips, he takes a long pull, savoring the burn as it goes down. Shivering slightly, he sets the glass down then turns to face her. "This is harder than I thought," he mentions, dropping his eyes to his clammy hands for a moment. When he feels the couch dip as she repositions herself, he looks up.

"You and Thad were my whole life, Elena. I won't deny that I love my job but you and our son were the most important. And when he died, he took everything and a piece of me with him. I know that I handled his death in the worst way possible, Thad wouldn't have wanted us to end up in this place but here we are. It's my fault, Elena, it's all my fault. I didn't know how to cope with pain so intense that it felt like a chunk of my heart was literally carved out of my chest. It still hurts so much that he isn't here," he adds, closing his eyes for a moment to try to stem the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Damon?"

"Please let me finish, Elena. You don't know how many times that I've wished that I could turn back time as it were. I treated you and his memory abhorrently. I didn't know how to deal with it so instead I lashed out and as ashamed as I am to admit this, you were the most convenient target. In hindsight, I can't blame you for walking away from me, Elena. I was cruel and self destructive and I did everything wrong. But please believe me when I tell you that despite everything I did wrong, I swear on my life that there haven't been any other women. I don't even know if that thought crossed your mind after we separated but I swear it's the truth. I've never cheated on you nor would I."

"Thank you for confirming that but yes, the thought had crossed my mind. What hurt the most, Damon,... was when you accused me of trying to replace him when I broached the topic of trying for another baby. It's not like we hadn't talked about it before but still the disgust I saw in your eyes that night nearly killed me," she stresses, reaching for a Kleenex to wipe her own eyes.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to put into words how much I have hated myself for that night. You didn't do anything wrong, Elena. It was all me. I lost my son, I'm sorry, I mean we lost our son and all that I saw was darkness. I didn't know how to move on, I didn't know how to love again, I didn't know anything anymore. All I knew was that there was this void in my life, our lives and God it hurt. The only way I could get through it was to turn if off. We hurt the ones we love the most, Elena and good Lord, I hurt you. It wasn't until you walked out on me that I truly hit rock bottom. I didn't believe I'd ever be able to atone for my toxic behavior but I knew I had to try if there was even the slightest chance that I could earn your trust back. I never told you or even Bonnie but I've been seeing a counselor for a long time now. It's not as regular as it once was given my travels but I do go when I can. I don't blame you for leaving me, Elena. Hell, I practically pushed you out the door myself," Damon admits, staring at her the whole time. Seeing the look of shock on her face, he reaches for her hand.

"I had to leave, Damon. I couldn't help you but I had to help myself or I'd fall into that abyss too. For the sake of my sanity, I had to leave," Elena explains. Closing her eyes for a minute, she feels the pain of that horrible night all over again. Grimacing, she tries to hold back anymore tears but fails miserably. Sniffing, her body is literally trembling as she stares into his eyes.

"I know you did. And as badly as that hurt, it was the kick in the ass that I needed, Elena, so I have to thank you for not only saving yourself but for saving me too." Carefully, he puts her hand on his palm, using his other one to stroke the top of it. "You don't have to give me an answer tonight, I know you need time but I'm begging you to give us another chance, Elena. Ilove you so very, very much. You're the one bright spot I have left." Staring at him, she uses her free hand to palm the right side of his face. As she stares, she unconsciously leans in to press a wisp of a kiss to his lips.

"I still love you too, Damon. As much as I wanted to hate you for a time, I couldn't. But Damon, it's not that easy for me.. I'm afraid to take another chance on us. What if God forbid another tragedy befalls us? Are you going to lash out and kick me to the curb again?"

"I understand your fears and they are justified. But Elena, I've changed and I'm more than willing to give you all the time you need. Even if you have to go to DC for awhile to put some distance between us, to really have the space to think clearly, I'll understand. I won't lie, I don't want you to go but if that's what you need to be able to come back to me, I'll survive somehow."

"Thank you for that. I promise you that I will think about us long and hard. I won't be leaving for DC for a few weeks anyway. I'm still under the doctor's care for my arm," she explains, holding up the sling.

"Um, can I take you out to get some lunch or do you want to spend the night? I'll sleep in the guest room, Elena. I don't want to put any pressure on you at all." Anxious, Damon sits at the edge of the couch. He can feel his gut roiling and can almost taste the bile burning he back of his throat. Despite all the ways his body is rebelling against him, he can't help but feel a little bit of hope. She did hear him out after all.

"I'm grateful for the offer but Kol will be here soon to take me to the hospital. I'm going to go home and think about us. Please know that Kol is nothing more than a good friend. There's nothing romantic between us now nor has there ever been. You have my word."

About to say something, he stops when his doorbell rings sending the now barking dogs running into foyer. "And that's probably him now," Damon offers, his shoulders sagging slightly knowing that she'll be leaving now. Although every urge inside of him is telling him to hold onto her, she's not a possession and he has to give her the freedom to fly and decide for herself what she wants her, _their_ future to be.

"Yes, it probably is," she agrees, getting up to go to the front door. Just as she puts her hand on the doorknob, Damon takes her good arm, pulling her into his. Before she can even utter a syllable, he captures her mouth in a smoldering kiss, so intense that she feels her knees start to weaken. When he lets go, she stares at him, her fingertips ghosting her lips. "Wow," she breathes, unable to take her eyes from his. Their reverie is broken when the doorbell rings again followed by another chorus of barks. "I suppose I should let him in." Shaking his head up and down, he steps back as she turns the knob, pulling the door open, revealing her friend Kol.

"Damon," he says, offering his hand to shake.

"Thank you for looking after her, Kol. I owe you," Damon tells him, shaking his hand. Stunned Kol just nods before turning to Elena to ask her if she's ready. After sharing one more look with Damon, she picks up her purse and follows Kol out of the house. Damon watches Elena till Kol pulls away and Damon can no longer see his car.

* * *

Six months later:

Buried in his work, Damon looks at all of the photos comparing the volcano before and after. The lateral blast blew 1300 feet off the top of the mountain. Although their tight knit group mourned Slater and Trevor, they knew the best way to honor them was to keep busy, studying the volcano and continuing their research. Elena left to go to Washington after she finished with her course of antibiotics. This time Damon refused to let himself fall prey to his grief. He and Elena talk every day either on the phone or skype. Elena came home for a few days after Bonnie and Brady's, daughter Maggie was born, she stayed at the house in a separate room but at least he was able to be close to her. As for his part, he has made the trip to Washington DC a few times in the last six months to spend some time with her. She showed him what her job consisted of as well as taking him to visit many of the historic sights around Washington. They used this time to talk and to just be together and he loved being able to hold her hand and kiss her beautiful face.

And although she hasn't made any promises, he's hopeful that she'll come back soon. With his mind elsewhere today, he rakes his hand through his hair and then pushes his wheeled office chair back so he can pull open his desk drawer. Finding what he's looking for, he stares at the picture of the three of them, taken just before Thad's diagnosis. With a smile on his face, he brushes his fingers over his vibrant little boy's face. "Oh Thad, daddy misses you so much," he whispers, letting out a breath. When he hears a knock on his door, he puts the picture back in his desk, quickly dabs the corners of eyes and says, "Come in."

Dropping his eyes to his desktop, he doesn't look up. When he hears the sweetest sound ever, he holds his breath and slowly raises his eyes. "You're home?"

"I am home, Damon. Happy Anniversary," she says, stepping inside and pushing the door closed behind her.

Glancing at the calendar, he's stunned that he hadn't even given it a thought. With his mouth agape, he jumps to his feet, darts around his desk and wraps his arms around her. Before she has a chance to say another word, he slowly moves in and joins their lips in a romantic yet ardent kiss. "Happy anniversary," he whispers breathlessly when he breaks their connection. "Is this real? Pinch me, Elena."

"It's real, Damon. Ric was kind enough to offer me my old job back. And I need to thank you for being patient with me and giving me the time I needed to think things through. I'll always love you, Damon and now I'm ready to fight for us and for our marriage."

"This is possibly the best anniversary gift ever in the history of best anniversary gifts," Damon gushes. "And I promise you that I'm going to be right by your side the whole way. We're going to make it this time, I can feel it. I love you, Elena, more than I can put into words." And with that, he kisses her again, holding her upright when her knees weaken from the intensity of his mouth on hers.

* * *

After getting her back to their home, he takes her out to dinner to celebrate their anniversary. As soon as they get back into the house, he picks her up and carries her up the stairs to their bedroom. Suddenly nervous, Damon pauses, trying to read the look in her eyes. Even though it's been so very long that he's been waiting for her to come, he relaxes visibly when she nods. He kisses her so thoroughly that it leaves her breathless and wanting by the time he pulls away with a wet plopping sound. Bending down, he unsnaps her jeans and lowers the zipper.

She sighs as he lowers them down her long svelte leg. As he inches then downward, he presses his lips against her soft skin, touching her gently and carefully. Shifting restlessly against his sweet assault, Elena nearly melts, the graze of his calloused fingertips is almost unbearable. But when he slips those same fingertips beneath the lace of her panties touching her heated flesh, a greedy groan escapes from her throat. "Please, Damon, I need you," she rasps, her eyes dark and brimming with lust when they meet his.

Picking her up, he lays her on the bed. Shifting to his knees, he starts to undo the buttons on his shirt, his eyes never drifting from the sight of her once again laying in their bed. With glazed eyes and flushed cheeks and glistening lips, she sucks the lower one between her teeth, knowing full well what that does to him. Little minx, he thinks to himself. Sliding the shirt from his shoulders, he marvels at the same raw, hungry look that she wore the first time they were together. Because it matched his own, he'll always remember the deep visceral need that he saw reflected in her eyes. Even though they've been through their very own version of hell, the pull between them is still so vibrant and electric. Taking his hand, he starts to undo his jeans, all the while unable to take his eyes from hers.

Kicking them off, he eases himself over her, amazed to feel her tremble beneath him. Feeling her nails rake across his back, he reaches around to unclasp her bra, savoring her ripe breasts. So hard that he hurts, he's still determined to do this slow and easy. After planting a heady kiss to her lips, he tugs off her panties. Knowing her husband, she reaches over to his bedside stand to pull out a condom, her eyes feverish as she hands it to him. Feeling heat radiating from every pore in his body, his own fingers shake as he tries to roll it on.

Damon can't stop his heart from racing out of control when he sees desire and so much love staring back at him. Wanting to claim his mouth, Elena pulls him towards her. As soon as he feels his cock slide against her warmth, there are no doubts left in his mind. "I love you, Elena," he breathes and in the next second, he slides forward and into her goddess like body. Her breath rushes out of her in a gasp and at the same time he feels her knees squeezing against his hips.

"Yes, like that, Damon...," she pants, her voice raspy. Even though he's barely made a move, somehow it seems enough just to be inside of her again, inside his home. Even the smallest movement of her lifting her hips against his makes him see stars. Nearly drunk with pleasure, he can't stop himself from pushing forward, driving into her just the way she likes it. Biting her lip to stifle a moan, Elena's eyes fly open when he shifts, hitting that special spot inside of her. Their gazes lock and in this moment, she knows that this is right.

Elena wraps her legs around his waist and when she does, he slides his hand under the small of her back to tilt her hips enough to control the angle of his well aimed trusts. He knows he hit the right spot when she cries out, sounding hoarse and desperate. Even knowing it won't be long, Damon keeps up the rhythm. When she tightens around him, he slows down to try to make it last as long as she can handle it. Unable to keep her eyes open, they slip shut as she matches him thrust for thrust. Before she can take a breath, Damon rocks back on his heels. Keeping his hand at the small of her back, he drags her upright with him somehow managing the impossible of not slipping out of her body.

Clinging to him tightly, Elena groans as he pushes deeper inside of her than ever before, repeated hitting that spot that leaves them both trembling. When their eyes meet, Damon sees tears in them. With his prone hand, he laces it under her hair to clutch the back of her neck, pulling her forward to join her mouth to his. When they part, Damon struggles to catch a breath as she begins to rise up down along his length. Wanting her impossibly closer, he drops his mouth to her throat, licking and nipping at her sweat dampened skin. Elena begins to move faster, grinding against him hard and with purpose. With the intensity of this, Damon struggles to keep his eyes open. Burying his face in her shoulder, moaning against the curve of her gazelle like neck, he feels himself slipping over the edge. Heat and electricity grip his body and suddenly he erupts in fiery explosion of molten ash and flame taking Elena along with him.

Chill bumps break out on his skin as she milks his body dry. When he finally finds the energy to lift his face from her shoulder, he's literally speechless. Elena smiles, running her fingers through his sweat drenched hair breathlessly murmuring gibberish in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Unable to take his eyes from her beautiful face, he can only whisper, "I love you, Elena, it's always only been you." Given the boneless state of her body, she reaches up to cradle his cheeks, "I love you too."

* * *

One year later:

"Happy birthday, baby," Damon says, stepping into the kitchen. Bending over, he frisks the dogs a little bit before stepping over to his wife. Embracing her in his arms, her back to his front, he starts to nuzzle her neck. His heart is so full of love for this woman, he didn't realize that it was possible to love someone so much until she came and Thad came into his life. "I should be cooking you dinner, it's your birthday after all," he says softly, sucking her earlobe into his mouth.

"You can make me dessert," she teases, turning around in his arms to kiss him properly.

"Oh I intend to, my love," he says, lifting a kiss from her lips. "I have something for you."

"You do?" she squeals happily, her smile lighting up her whole face. Pulling the package out of his pocket, he hands her the small package. "Can I open it?"

"Absolutely."

Rising on her tiptoes, she plants another quick kiss to his lips then tears it open. Inside is a deep blue pear shaped pendant on a white gold chain. "Damon, it's beautiful. What is this stone?"

"That my love is 'Helenite'. It also known as St. Helens obsidian. This stone is a man-made glass that is produced using volcanic ash from the eruption of Mount St. Helens."

"Put it on me," she asks, turning around and raising her curtain of hair. Taking the pendant in hand, Damon slides it around her neck and secures the clasp. Fingering it, she gushes, "I love it. Thank you, sweetheart."

"That's not all. Look again." Staring at him for a few seconds, she picks up the box again. Lifting up the cotton padding she finds a little bitty envelope. Curious she slides her finger along the seam, opening it. Pulling the little card out, she sees the happy birthday but when she opens it up, her mouth falls open. It simply says, " _I'm ready_."

"Does this mean what I think it means?" she asks, her heart slamming inside of her chest.

"It does. I want to have another baby with you. We're not replacing Thad, we'll be giving him a brother or sister. I want this with you, Elena."

Feeling tears fill her eyes, she throws her arms around his neck, whispering, "yes, yes, I want it too." And so he wraps his arms around her middle, pulls her flush against him and then he kisses her, now knowing that nothing can stand in the way of their own happily ever after.

The End

* * *

On March 1, 1980, a new system of seismographs at the University of Washington went into operation to monitor earthquake activity in the Cascades. On March 20, it recorded a magnitude-4.2 earthquake deep beneath Mount St. Helens, inaugurating a round-the-clock watch that was to save many lives. From March 25 to March 27, quakes of magnitude 4.0 rocked the mountain as many as three times a day, and smaller quakes occurred several times every hour.

At 8 a.m. PST on March 27, the U.S. Geological Survey issued an official Hazard Watch for Mount St. Helens; around noon, the first eruption of steam from the summit sent a column of ash and steam 6,000 feet into the air. Twin fissures opened on the mountain's north face. Volcanologists set up reflective targets between the fissures and used lasers placed on a mountain ridge six miles away to record changes. On March 31, instruments began to record the rhythmic pulses known as "volcanic tremor." Such pulses indicated that magma was on the move. In April, the laser equipment began to detect changes to the mountain's profile; an ominous swelling bulge was forming between the fissures. By late April, the laser measurements showed that the bulge was growing at a rate of about five feet per day.

On the morning of May 18, USGS volcanologist David A. Johnston, camped on the ridge with his lasers, radioed in his regular 7 a.m. report. The changes to the bulging mountain were consistent with what had been reported several times daily since the watch began. At 8:32, a magnitude-5.1 earthquake registered on the seismographic equipment. His excited radio message, "Vancouver, Vancouver, This is it!" It was his last transmission; the ridge he camped on was within the direct blast zone.

Within 15 seconds, the whole north face of the mountain was on the move. Within seconds, the north face collapsed, releasing superheated gases and trapped magma in a massive lateral explosion.

The abrupt release of pressure over the magma chamber created a "nuees ardentes," a glowing cloud of superheated gas and rock debris blown out of the mountain face moving at nearly supersonic speeds. Everything within eight miles of the blast was wiped out almost instantly. The shockwave rolled over the forest for another 19 miles, leveling century-old trees; all the trunks neatly aligned to the north. Beyond this "tree down zone" the forest remained standing but was seared lifeless. The area devastated by the direct blast force covered an area of nearly 230 square miles

Shortly after the lateral blast, a second, vertical explosion occurred at the summit of the volcano, sending a mushroom cloud of ash and gases more than 12 miles into the air. The cloud of ash darkened the skies, causing streetlights to come on as far away as Spokane, Wash., more than 300 miles away. Ash continued to erupt for more than nine hours. Ultimately, an estimated 540 million tons of ash drifted up to 2,200 square miles settling over seven states.

As the north face was blown apart, the heat instantly vaporized glacial ice and snow around the remaining parts of the mountain. By 8:50 a.m., massive mudflows were moving through the river systems to the west and southeast of Mount St. Helens. The hot mud moved in excess of 90 mph, sweeping away everything in its path.

In terms of economic impact, the Mount St. Helens eruption was the most destructive in U.S. history. Fifty-seven people are known to have died. More than 200 homes were destroyed. More than 185 miles of roads and 15 miles of railways were damaged. Ash clogged sewage systems, damaged cars and buildings, and temporarily shut down air traffic over the Northwest. Today Mount St. Helens and other volcanoes in the Pacific Northwest are closely monitored by geologists at the David A. Johnston Cascades Volcano Observatory in Vancouver. In partnership with two other USGS installations located in Alaska and Hawaii, they are providing valuable information on volcanic activity to the United States and countries along the Pacific Ring of Fire.

THE END.

* * *

 _A humungous thank you to my sister, Eva. I love you forever._

 _And how do I begin to thank all of you for the incredible welcome back you have given me? I can't even put into words how much it means to me. THANK YOU. I am very proud of the fact that every one of my stories are marked #complete except the ones that are in progress._

 _Please click the review button one final time for this story. I really liked this story but topics such as this are so fascinating. The power of mother Earth is not to be trifled with._

 _"I Can't Escape Myself' is in progress. I also posted the first chapter of 'Through the Fire and Flames'. DE are smokejumpers in that story. Smokejumpers are specialized firefighters who parachute into the danger zone to fight fires._

 _Have a safe and wonderful day and thank you all again._


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